Anxiety is a major concern in today’s society. I’ll let you in on a little secret…. I haven’t got all of my ‘ish’ together. It may appear that my life is ‘perfect’ but trust me – don’t let the Instagram posts fool you (and that goes for everyone). This past year has been a rollercoaster of emotions – from getting engaged (so excited! Read my wedding prep post) to leaving my career – I feel like I’ve been racing life at stupid miles per hour. I’ve typically always been one to just keep going and put on a smile that tells the world ‘I’m OK’. But these past few months I realised that a facade was not going to be enough. You see I was consumed by a heavy and dark cloud of anxiety and it was terrifying
WHAT AXIETY FEELS LIKE
When anxiety made its first obvious appearance I realised something was not right because I could not stop over thinking. It felt like my brain was too full, but yet more thoughts would appear. I would think about my finances, work, health – just everyday general anxiety, but then it started to impact my sleeping patterns. I would sleep about 3 hours a night then go into work. As a result my work started to be impacted – I’d lose concentration and started to lose interest. I became withdrawn and started to have panick attacks whilst at work, which then developed into attacks on the way to work. I was tired – physically and mentally. I would find myself crying each night instead of sleeping. My general anxiety also became social anxiety, as I started to fear going into work and being around people. I stopped talking to most people except my family and a couple of close friends. I was frustrated with how debilitating this had become and knew I had to get help.
THE HELP I RECEIVED
Now anxiety is something that comes and goes for me. But I’ve learnt these last few months how to deal with it. The first and most important thing for me was to be honest about what was happening. I opened up to my mum and fiancé, who both encouraged me to pray and seek help. Because of this I was able to be honest with my Line Manager who was so supportive. I had a fitness consultation at work which implied I was depressed and I also was able to have many sessions with MIND after being referred by my doctor. I was also placed on anti-anxiety medication too, which I really struggled to come to terms with (I was very worried about the side effects – but I personally haven’t experienced any).
MY NEW HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE
All of the above has brought me to my current place – I’m more peaceful and my experiences of anxiety make very rare appearances. When it does appear I remain honest about it and try my hardest to not wallow. I focus my energy on something more positive such as going to the gym, creating healthy meal options or actively socialising and being around others. I’ve also found that helping others has really been a blessing – so I’ve started donating / giving away a LOT of my beauty collection to those who would love to have the products but may not be able to. I’ve learnt that living in the moment and praying about the future knowing God has it all worked out has really been a healer for me. Also the counselling and medication have helped to stabilise my emotions and give me more clarity.
I still haven’t got it all together – but that’s OK. Just like the daffodil I came across on a walk I took recently, I know that weeds and difficulties may be around me but I’m dedicated to blossom where I’m planted. I know anxiety may still continue to hit my life, but I’m fine with that too as I know it’ll pass. As long as I don’t let it control me, and remember all I’ve learnt and been through – I’ll be just fine.
I hope this has helped you in some way – you’re not alone in this if you’re experiencing something similar. There’s always some to talk to. Below are some great websites to help you:
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